


First Blood

by TheGreatCatsby



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: M/M, kougami comes back, post s2 and if the movie didn't happen like it's going to happen, various other characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 07:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4339424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatCatsby/pseuds/TheGreatCatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's been a long time since we've been nice to each other.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Blood

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically me writing, "what if Kougami came back?" but in a way that is very likely different from the movie. (I haven't seen the movie, but from what I have seen, it's not this.) Since the movie is being released on DVD tomorrow, I just thought I'd get this out there. And hopefully it gets subbed soon so we can all see it!

The dominator doesn't kill him. Akane looks pleased even as she shoots Kougami, paralyzes him and handcuffs him so they can take him back to headquarters. 

Ginoza rides in silence all the way back. Kunizuka keeps trying to catch his eye. Sugo and Hinakawa both decide it's better not to look at him. 

There's blood drying into a sticky, tight mask on Ginoza's cheek. The remains of someone who was working with Kougami, though he didn't know it when he shot them. He just did what he had to do in order to keep the team, and the city, safe. 

It was only when the haze of blood had cleared that he'd seen Kougami staring at him. 

*

Akane folds her arms on the table between her and Kougami, who won't stop looking at Ginoza. Ginoza stands sentry by the door, almost blending into the wall. Or he would have, if Kougami wasn't so interested in talking to him. 

Ginoza keeps his eyes up, staring at a spot a few feet above Kougami's head. He listens carefully to Akane's questions, to Kougami's answers, just in case he has to jump in for Akane's protection or just in case (and more likely) Akane wants to change tactics. 

Kougami is purposefully vague. They learn he was out of the country but came back with a terrorist organization determined to find out the truth behind the Sybil System. He doesn't name names, and he doesn't give away exactly what their plan is. Those are the two things that Chief Kasei will want out of him. 

Akane promises him that he won't lose his life if he gives the information the PSB needs. He'll be protected. He'll be in the isolation facility, true, but that's better than being dead. Something about the way she says it makes Ginoza think she doesn't believe it, but he can't pinpoint why. Maybe it's part of his imagination. 

After the interrogation Akane tries to talk to him. 

“I'm sure you know this already, but Kougami wants to talk to you,” she says. 

Ginoza taps his fingers against the wall. He doesn't turn towards her. “Take Kunizuka next time.” 

He feels her small hand rest on his shoulder. “Are you okay?” 

She worries about him, and sometimes it annoys him, but it's also his fault. He's opened up to her, sometimes in positive ways, sometimes in not so positive ones. Most starkly, he remembers telling her that it would be better if he died, and she'd been alarmed. 

“I'm fine,” he says. 

She leaves it. Some days, he opens up to her. Today is not one of those days. 

*

There are some things Ginoza will never forget. 

“So, results?” 

Ginoza flicked through the information on the screen in front of him, and a smile ghosted over his face. “I'm qualified to work for the PSB.” 

“Of course you are,” Kougami said. “Me too. So we'll probably end up working together at some point.” 

“Huh.” Ginoza's eyebrows shot up. “I also qualify to be a garden designer and a dog therapist.” 

Kougami laughed. “So being an inspector is off the table?” 

“I didn't say that!” 

“We should celebrate.” 

“With what?” 

“I have an idea.” 

They found themselves in a park that evening with food from one of the nearby cafes. Ginoza leaned back and tilted his head up, glasses catching the sun. 

Kougami sat next to him, watching him for a bit, and neither was willing to break the peaceful silence. 

“Gino,” Kougami said after some time. 

“Hmm?” 

“I think you'll make a great inspector.” 

Ginoza looked at Kougami, confused. “Huh?” 

“I'm just—that's what I think,” Kougami said. 

“We both will,” Ginoza said. “We're qualified. If we weren't, we wouldn't even be recommended.” 

Kougami just sighed and laid down in the grass. 

“You'll get grass in your hair,” Ginoza told him. “Stains on your jacket.” 

“I don't care,” Kougami said, “and you shouldn't either. It's comfortable.” With that, he grabbed Ginoza's sleeve and pulled. 

Ginoza toppled next to him and tried to pull himself back up, but Kougami wouldn't let go. He gripped Ginoza's sleeve higher up, keeping him close. 

“What are you--” 

“You need to relax,” Kougami said. “Do you ever even go outside?” 

“I go outside every day,” Ginoza said. 

“I bet you don't even know what grass smells like.” 

Ginoza scoffed. “Of course I know what grass smells like.” 

“You sure?” Kougami tossed a fistful of grass in Ginoza's face. Ginoza yelped and jerked back, or tried to and failed because Kougami was still holding onto his sleeve. 

“You—that's---” 

“It's just grass, Gino.” 

Ginoza wrinkled his nose. There were little pieces of grass sticking to his hair, and Kougami let go of his jacket to ruffle Ginoza's bangs so that they fell to the ground. 

Ginoza looked shocked at the gesture, and he turned his face so that his hair fell in front of his eyes, hiding his expression. 

“I'm perfectly capable of getting grass out of my own hair,” he muttered. 

“I know.” Kougami brushed Ginoza's hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear. Ginoza stared at him. 

“Wha--” 

“Are you happy, Gino?” Kougami asked. 

“I—yes. Are you?” 

“Excited, happy. I can't wait.” Kougami smiled. Ginoza smiled back, but didn't hold his gaze for long before he sat up again. 

 

*

“So, Kougami is back, eh?” Shion doesn't stop tapping her fingers on the keyboard of her computer even though she's turned around to grin at Ginoza like she has a secret. 

“Yes,” Ginoza says, folding his arms over his chest. 

Shion hums and turns back around. “They're keeping him pretty secure, but that doesn't mean you can't visit him in his cell. Like the isolation facility. Most people wouldn't, but...” 

“I don't need to visit him,” Ginoza tells her. 

Shion exchanges a look with Kunizuka. They'd come to research the scraps of information they'd managed to get from Kougami's interrogations. Not much, but going to Shion is better than nothing. 

Except Shion won't stop acting like Kougami is an old friend back from a trip abroad. 

“The interrogation room is a bit...formal,” Shion says. 

“Why does that matter?” Ginoza asks, and then regrets it. Shion looks at Kunizuka again, and to his shock, Kunizuka smiles. 

“Boys,” Shion murmurs, turning back to her screen. 

Ginoza shoots a glare at Kunizuka. “What?” 

“I'm sure you'll figure it out,” Kunizuka says. 

*

He can't sleep. He hates that Kougami is getting to him like this, even if he's not surprised. 

“You're not sleeping,” Akane tells him one morning. It's just her, him, and Hinakawa in the office, and Hinakawa is doing a really good job of ignoring them both. 

“Are you spying on me?” Ginoza asks. 

“You look terrible,” Akane says, flicking Ginoza's ponytail. Ginoza flinches away, annoyed. “Perhaps some stress care--” 

“I'm fine.” 

“Maybe,” Akane continues, “it would be better if you returned to accompanying me to the interrogations.” 

“How would that be better?” Ginoza asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Because not knowing what's going on with Kougami makes you think about him more,” Akane says. “Your imagination starts to get away from you, because you don't have anything concrete to focus on.” 

Ginoza stares at her. 

Akane smiles at him, a little sadly. “You were best friends.” 

“He left,” Ginoza says. 

“It wasn't personal,” Akane tells him. “You have to know that.” 

He doesn't. It felt personal. It's always felt personal. 

“Please?” Akane adds. She touches his arm. 

“Sitting in the interrogation room with him won't solve anything,” Ginoza points out. 

“No,” Akane agrees, thinking. She takes her hand from his arm, and to his surprise, he misses it being there. “But it's something, isn't it?” This time her smile is hopeful. 

Ginoza wishes, sometimes, that he could be more like her. 

*

“Gino!” Kougami cries as soon as Ginoza enters the room, trailing Akane. 

Akane sits. Ginoza sits next to her this time, because it isn't like sitting at the table or pretending to be a shadow by the door makes any difference here. 

Kougami leans forward. “Gino,” he says, “when did you become a stone-cold killing dog?” 

Ginoza slams his hand down on the table, startling everyone. His eyes burn into Kougami, who actually looks like he regrets what he's said. 

But before he has the chance to apologize, Ginoza hisses, “When you became a terrorist,” turns, and leaves. 

He doesn't even hear Akane calling after him. 

*

There are moments Kougami will never forget. 

He remembers a kid being beaten up by a bunch of punks in the school yard. 

Well, to be fair to the kid, he was throwing a few punches back, despite being a skinny thing with glasses. He landed a few good ones, but the numbers weren't on his side, and two of the punks landed blows that knocked him to the ground. 

The kid's knees hit the floor and that made Kougami's decision for him. 

He marched into the middle of this fray, and as he got close he heard one of the punks sneer, “You're nothing but scum. And your father is, too.” The kid on the floor gave the punk a look that Kougami thought, were it directed at him, might have sent him running, but the punk just laughed. And the kid half-rose, only for Kougami to knock the punk out from behind. 

“I don't normally make it a habit of attacking whose backs are turned to me,” Kougami said, “but considering the way you're ganging up on this guy, I'm making an exception.” 

“Huh?” Another of the punks lunged at Kougami, who took him easily, tossing him aside. All that training had come in handy. The other two punks, seeing their friends so quickly defeated, ran away. 

Kougami turned around to see the guy in glasses kneeling in the dirt, staring at him. There were bruises on his face, his glasses askew, and he looked astonished, the harsh glare from earlier gone. 

“You alright?” Kougami asked, kneeling in front of him. 

The other guy adjusted his glasses, tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ear, and said, “Why did you do that? You'll harm your psycho-pass.” 

Kougami stared at him. “Not even a thank you,” he muttered, not understanding why this guy would be concerned about his psycho-pass, of all things. “I'm Kougami Shinya, by the way.” 

“I know,” the guy said, a little bitterly, Kougami thought, for someone he'd just met. 

But then something clicked in his head. A guy being teased about his family, being concerned about crime coefficients, and glasses. “You're—Gino something?” 

“Ginoza Nobuchika,” the guy muttered. 

“Ah! Right! Ah...” Kougami remembered. Ginoza was the top of their class...until Kougami knocked him out of first place. “So, are you...?” 

“Fine,” Ginoza said. But he didn't move. 

“Are you sure?” Kougami reached out to touch him, but Ginoza swatted his hand away, cheeks suddenly tinged with pink. 

“I'm fine,” Ginoza insisted, getting to his feet. Kougami rose as well. 

“Walk you to class?” he asked. 

Ginoza pushed his glasses up his nose. “If you want.” 

Ginoza was guarded, that much Kougami could tell. He was also peculiar. Kougami learned that he didn't understand the concept of doing things just for fun after mentioning his hobby of exercising. Ginoza thought everything was done for a purpose, such as to keep one's psycho-pass clear and healthy. When they parted, Kougami felt a bit strange. He'd never thought about his psycho-pass that much. 

But when he started digging into the school's rumors, he realized why those punks were trying to hurt Ginoza. Ginoza's father was a latent criminal, and certain groups in the school thought that therefore, the whole family was bound to become criminals. He'd thought Ginoza a loner before, but now everything made a little more sense. 

So he found Ginoza during lunch the next day, and sat with him.   
*

Ginoza can't breathe. He's trying desperately, taking deep, shuddering gasps of air. Dime paces in front of him, worried. This is a terribly familiar situation for both of them. Which is probably the only reason why Dime hasn't started barking. 

Terribly familiar, and just like it has been for years, no one will come to give him tea and talk him out of it. 

And it shouldn't matter. They're just words. But it does matter. The little things that shouldn't matter have always mattered and Ginoza hates that about himself, but he doesn't know how to make it not matter, so it keeps mattering too much. 

A knock on the door makes him nearly jump out of his skin. 

“I'm coming in,” says a soft voice. 

Then someone is in front of him, both hands on his shoulders, and Ginoza forces himself to open his eyes. 

Akane looks back at him, full of concern. 

“He—thinks--” Ginoza chokes. 

“Kougami can be careless,” Akane says. She moves back a little, gives him space now that he's focused on her. Awkwardly, she rubs the back of her neck. “What helps in this situation?” 

Ginoza still can't quite believe she's here. “Tea,” he manages. 

Akane disappears, giving Ginoza time to regulate his breathing, and comes back a few minutes later with two mugs of tea. She hands Ginoza one and sits next to him on the couch. 

“You didn't have to come,” Ginoza says. 

“It's my job to make sure my team is okay,” Akane says with a little shrug of her shoulders. 

“I didn't teach you that,” Ginoza says, a little bitterly. 

“You didn't teach me that well,” Akane corrects. “I knew you cared. You're just...” 

“A charmless bastard,” Ginoza says, less bitterly, because it was what Sasayama called him once. 

Akane laughs, then covers her mouth. “Sorry, just--” 

“It's okay,” Ginoza says. 

“That's harsh,” Akane says. “I was just going to say sometimes you can be...difficult.” 

Ginoza shrugs and sips his tea. The warmth seems to calm his general shakiness. “Thanks for this,” he says. 

“Of course.” 

*

There are moments that Ginoza will never forget. 

One moment, several years before. He'd just come back from his first serious outing as an inspector. He'd given a terse command to his enforcers to complete their reports and send them to him by the next morning. And then he'd gone and hidden in his apartment, because it was time for his partner to take over the shift anyway. 

His two dogs, Dime and Ron, had sniffed him as soon as he came through the door, and they both seemed perplexed by the new scent that seemed to mask whatever scent they'd become familiar with. Ginoza hadn't even stopped to scratch behind their ears. He just locked himself in the bathroom and turned on the shower. 

The steam that fogged the mirror was almost enough to take the edge off what Ginoza saw there. He had blood and body-parts matted in his hair, staining his cheeks, drying on his suit and shirt, making the cloth sticky and stiff. The smell became overwhelming, and he gagged, but nothing came up because he hadn't eaten all day, and because he'd been sick at the crime scene. Right after he'd shot the latent criminal, who'd exploded, at close range. 

There was a reason enforcers were supposed to take care of shooting latent criminals, rather than inspectors. 

The cloth of his shirt clung to his skin, and pulling it off made him feel light-headed when he thought about how it had felt to be suddenly soaked in the insides of someone else. Enforcer Saseyama had described his look as “like something out of a horror movie” and hadn't even been joking for once. 

As he stepped into the shower, two thoughts fought in his head. “He deserved it” and “I'm sorry.” All tinged in red, like the water running off him. 

He could wash it off. 

He stepped out of the shower and put on a sweater, his warmest one, and pajama pants and curled up on his couch and stayed there. Ron settled at Ginoza's feet and Dime lay next to him, large furry head on his lap, and Ginoza absently ran his fingers along Dime's head as he tried to figure out what to do about the way his breath hitched and the images that kept popping up in his head without him wanting them to. 

And then, someone knocked on his door. 

“Shit,” Ginoza hissed, drawing his knees up to his chest and burying his head in his arms, displacing Dime, who leapt off the couch and padded towards the door to see who it was. 

Another knock, and Dime barked. Ginoza tried to ignore it. 

Then the door opened. 

Ginoza tensed. He heard footsteps. Dime wasn't attacking the intruder, uselessly friendly dog that he was. And then an arm draped itself around Ginoza's shoulders and a weight settled next to him on the couch. 

“I heard what happened,” he heard Kougami say. 

He didn't respond. He was the one who'd wanted to be an inspector, and Kougami had come along for the ride like it wasn't a hard decision to follow Ginoza at all. 

“The first time is always the hardest,” Kougami added. 

Ginoza choked on a laugh. “I'll get used to it. That isn't exactly comforting.” 

“No,” Kougami agreed, “but it's a reality of the job. And it helps keep people safe.” 

“I'm pathetic.” When Kougami had first killed with a dominator, Ginoza had pestered him, worried over him, and Kougami had been mostly okay. He hadn't freaked out. He'd taken it in stride and reasoned himself out of any terrible feelings that he might have had. 

Ginoza felt like an idiot for not being able to do the same. He should have been able to. It was just another way in which he wasn't as good as Kougami. 

“You're human,” Kougami said. And then, like he knew where Ginoza's thoughts were taking him, “we all handle things differently.” 

“Badly,” Ginoza muttered. 

“I don't think so.” Kougami nudged Ginoza in the side, causing him to lift his head. “Besides, I like that you need me.” He smiled. “You spend so much time worrying about other people. I like having the chance to worry over you.” 

“It's a waste of your time,” Ginoza said. 

Kougami pulled him closer. “You could never be.” 

For a moment they looked at each other. Ginoza wasn't sure how to respond to that, but he felt his cheeks slowly starting to burn. His eyes were starting to sting. He ducked his head. 

Kougami pulled away. “Tea. That's what you need.” 

A few minutes later Ginoza had regained some of his composure and Kougami had shoved a huge mug of extremely watered-down tea in his hands. 

After that, Kougami stopped noticing when Ginoza slipped. 

*

“You've changed.” 

It's taken three days for Ginoza to finally admit that maybe everyone else is right, and that he should do something about Kougami before it makes him self-destruct. But at those words, he almost runs. 

“We've all changed,” Ginoza snaps, viciously. 

Kougami seems irritatingly calm. “You're angry.” 

“You left.” 

Kougami sighs. “I'm sorry I said what I did, the other day. It was out of line.” 

“Why did you say it?” 

“Because I was angry that you'd been avoiding me,” Kougami says. “It wasn't a nice thing to say.” 

“Well, it's been a long time since we've been nice to each other,” Ginoza says. It's been a long time since they've been anything to each other. 

“True.” Kougami shrugs. “But I'm the one who left, not the other way around. That said, your anger-” 

“You wanted to talk,” Ginoza cuts in. 

Kougami sighs and runs a hand through his hair, making it stick up. When they were younger, when they first started as inspectors, Ginoza would always smooth down Kougami's hair when it did this, saying that messy hair wasn't professional. His hands twitch, even though it's been years. 

“I can't say I'm sorry for leaving,” Kougami says, “both to go after Makishima and to leave the country.” He pauses. “And for becoming an enforcer.” 

“Of course not,” Ginoza says, which is a bit mean, but there's nothing nice about the situation. 

“But why did you get so angry?” Kougami asks. 

Ginoza stares at him. 

“I get it,” Kougami says, “kind of. Friends don't want friends to leave. But not everyone stays. I don't understand why it seems like you hate me for everything that's happened?” 

“Because you chose to leave,” Ginoza snaps. “Because you don't understand. You never tried to.” 

“What don't I understand?” Kougami asks. 

Ginoza clenches his fists. “I don't hate you.” 

“Okay.” Kougami says. He looks expectant. There's more. 

Ginoza grits his teeth. He doesn't owe Kougami anything, but Kougami has always had a way of getting things out of him. “No one stays for me.” 

Kougami's expression changes, his eyebrows furrowing. 

“No one thinks I'm good enough,” Ginoza adds, words tumbling out before he can really think about them, “and I thought you might because you were willing to follow me here. You talked to me even though I was a lonely kid that everyone else hated. I thought I was good enough, but you found something better and chased it and left me behind. You noticed me when no one else did, but then you stopped.” He takes a deep breath. “None of that is your fault.” Which has always made him feel ridiculous, for feeling angry. 

“Gino,” Kougami says. 

“I should go,” Ginoza says. He feels cold, too exposed, and he needs to be alone because if Kougami rejects him again...

A lot has changed, but there are some things that haven't at all. 

He turns, walks away. 

Kougami doesn't stop him. Kougami can't stop him. 

*

There are moments Kougami will never forget. This is one of them. 

Kougami had suspected that Ginoza needed more from him than he was able to give. And Kougami loved him. But he couldn't be there for him the way Ginoza needed someone to be there for him. 

He never regretted it until the day he left the country. 

He knew he'd have to leave. He knew it the second he left the PSB. After he killed Makishima, he wouldn't be allowed to live. Not while the Sybil System ruled. 

He didn't regret it when he saw Ginoza bent over his father's body. The only thing he thought of at that moment was revenge. 

The regret didn't set in until he ended up back at the factory. He'd walked back into the building, not sure what he was intending to do. Maybe intending to say goodbye. Akane was talking to Shion over her communication device. She didn't even glance up at him. She didn't notice he'd come back.

Kougami rounded a corner and stopped in his tracks. 

Kunizuka knelt over Ginoza. She was tying something around his upper arm, and when Kougami stepped closer, he saw that the floor was covered in blood. Ginoza's coat was soaked in it, Kunizuka was kneeling in it. 

Masaoka's body was a few feet away, so it wasn't his. 

Kougami felt like he was choking, but he forced himself to step closer. He could hear Ginoza's struggle to breathe, his pained gasps. 

Kunizuka was the first to notice him. She looked up, grim, and said, “It's bad.” 

Which was an understatement. Closer, Kougami caught sight of the mangled arm. He hadn't realized before that Ginoza was injured. But now he saw that the thing Kunizuka had been tying to his arm was a strip of cloth to stem the bleeding. Ginoza's skin was horribly pale where it wasn't stained red, and so much blood was already on the floor. 

“Akane's calling for reinforcements and an ambulance,” Kunizuka said. “They should be here soon.” She paused. “I don't think he'll die. But his arm...” 

“He's gone,” Ginoza whispered. 

“Gino,” Kougami said.

Ginoza's head jerked a little. He didn't look like he was really seeing anything, his eyes were glazed over. But he tried to say something. 

“I'm sorry,” Kougami said. 

And he ran. 

He wasn't even sure if Ginoza had heard him. 

*

“Whatever you've said to Kougami,” Akane says, “it's just made him want to see you again.” 

“Of course it has,” Ginoza mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. He knows if he doesn't go back, it'll bother him. 

But still. It's painful. He doesn't want to be rejected. 

It would've almost been easier if he'd never seen Kougami again. 

“He's going to be sent to the isolation facility,” Akane adds. 

“We knew that would happen,” Ginoza says. 

Akane nods. “I wish it wouldn't.” 

*

“Even if you hated him, you and Makishima both wanted the same thing,” Ginoza says when he steps into Kougami's cell. This time, he makes it hard for himself to run away. “To find out the truth of the Sybil System.” 

“He was going to destroy peoples' lives,” Kougami snaps, rising from his cot. “I just wanted the truth.” 

“And then what?” 

“People have the right to know.” 

“I'm not saying that you and Makishima were the same,” Ginoza says. “You're not him.” 

Kougami seems to calm down. “No. But I'm still a criminal, Gino.” 

“You don't regret it.” 

“No.” 

They stand there, analyzing each other. 

“You needed more than a friendship,” Kougami says. “From me. You wanted more than that.” 

Ginoza shifts on his feet.. “I knew it would never happen.” 

“Why not?” 

“We were colleagues. It would have been incredibly inappropriate,” Ginoza says. 

“You know how I am about rules,” Kougami says with a small smile. The corners of Ginoza's mouth twitch. 

“Unfortunately, I do.” 

If they stop here, they can be friends. Or close to it. 

Kougami won't. “But that's not all, is it?” 

Ginoza closes his eyes. Opens them, but he can't look at Kougami, so he looks at the wall behind him. “I need things that you didn't seem ready to give. And you need things that I can't give you.” 

“Vague,” Kougami says. 

Ginoza makes a noise of frustration. “Being obsessed with the truth. Solving the Makishima case. Getting revenge. Those are the things that you left for.” He sighs. “And I'd heard you and Sasayama talking about girls. Sex. And as much as you don't think it matters, it would have been inappropriate while we were working together. All of those things, and my own lack of trust in people, meant that it wouldn't work.” 

“Wouldn't work,” Kougami repeats. 

“And now you're going to the isolation facility,” Ginoza continues. “They won't let you out.” 

“Probably not,” Kougami agrees. “And you probably think they shouldn't.” 

“I--” Ginoza doesn't know what to think. He views are less severe since he became an enforcer, a dangerous thing, but he can't help it. 

“But let's say that wasn't a problem,” Kougami continues, moving forward and placing a hand on Ginoza's shoulder, rooting him there. Ginoza forces himself to look at Kougami's face. “You loved me. As more than a friend.” 

Ginoza nods. Jerkily. 

“You say that what we want and need are two different things,” Kougami says, sounding almost like he's outlining the facts of a case. “Never mind that you're making a lot of assumptions about what I need. Women, sex, those are wants. We're not colleagues anymore, so that isn't a problem. I've already gotten what I needed in terms of revenge. The truth, however, is both a want and a need. To find out the truth about the Sybil System, and to allow others to know the truth. Maybe that's where we differ. You need to keep the people around you safe. So those are the two needs that conflict with each other. The rest is stuff you've convinced yourself that we couldn't get around, but we can.” 

Ginoza tries to speak, but he doesn't have the words. 

“This is what I think,” Kougami says. “I couldn't, and still can't, give you everything that you want or need. And you can't give me everything I need. But I could love you the way you need to be loved.” He sighs. “We can both compromise.” 

Slowly, Ginoza nods. Because if he doesn't, he knows he won't stop thinking about this, and what could have been. 

Kougami smiles, and brushes Ginoza's lips with his own. 

Then Ginoza says, “I need to get back.” 

And Kougami squeezes his shoulder and says, “Don't think too hard.” 

And Ginoza leaves for the office in a daze. 

*

Ginoza can't visit the isolation facility without an inspector (Akane, because Mika disapproves of everything to do with that place.) Ginoza shouldn't be having a relationship with a latent criminal, a prisoner, but Akane is happy for them and seems perfectly happy allowing frequent visits and covering for Ginoza when people try to pry into his personal life. 

Akane gets to use Kougami's analytical skills when she needs to, and they talk for long periods of time because they're still friends, so it isn't like Akane is completely self-sacrificing in allowing their relationship to continue. Ginoza gets the feeling that, despite being friends, Akane and Kougami are both smart enough to utilize each other as resources. 

Kougami hasn't given up on his goal to find out the truth about the Sybil System. Ginoza is still bound to the Sybil System as part of his job, and perhaps because of his need to keep the people around him safe. 

It's the sort of arrangement where the other shoe will drop eventually. Something will go wrong. Ginoza finds that hard to swallow.

But he and Kougami knew what they were getting into when they became inspectors years ago, and they know what they're getting into now, and it isn't easy, but at least these are choices they've made. 

If they aren't in control of the results, at least they're in control of their decisions.

“I love you,” Ginoza decides to say on one afternoon trip to the isolation facility, after days agonizing over saying those words out loud. 

The moment after, Kougami's answering, “I love you too, Gino,” makes any consequence worth suffering.


End file.
